House Kheperu


Awakening and Trust

Written by: Michelle Belanger

Any of us who are Awakened know we can do things. Some of us blow out lightbulbs when we have a migraine, others interfere with television and radio reception, and of course most of us can consciously read emotions or thoughts and occasionally influence reality to do what we want.

I have often been asked when precisely these “weird things” started to happen to me - or more precisely, around me. But there isn't really a single incident I can cite that started it all. Really, when I look back on it, I can see that it was always going on.

For me, Awakening wasn't about suddenly having these things happen to me - it was more about becoming aware that they were happening, that they were more than just coincidence, and that they had been happening all along. Of course, once you become aware of the process, you're thinking about it more, and then you really start to see weird things happen!

It's funny looking at my past now, because I can see that as a child there was a point of innocence where I noticed these things and just never questioned them. Then later, as I started to learn about how things were “supposed to be” I entered a period of denial. I'd ignore that things were happening, or I'd go through some amazing mental gymnastics to convince myself it was just a coincidence or “all in my head”. By my teens, things had gotten weird enough and consistent enough that it was really hard to ignore, but I tried my best!

From 15 on, I went back and forth, studying magick and psychic phenomenon and knowing I believed, but also trying to deny it, rationalize it, and trying to convince myself that I didn't believe. That all resolved itself about when I went to college and ran into some people who had similar experiences. Once I knew it wasn't just me and I had people to talk to who encouraged me to accept my experiences, then I was able to really start learning about it and exploring what it was and what it meant.

That I think is the most important part of “Awakening” - having someone there to tell you that what you are experiencing is real and that you've been this way all along. “Awakening” is really a process of developing confidence and trust and becoming conscious of abilities that have always been part of your unconscious mind.

Awakening is not like this sudden transformation from one state to the next. You don't just wake up one morning and suddenly discover you can move things with your mind. If you have that capacity, I believe you were born with it, but in growing up it was repressed. Once you have been assured that you're not going crazy and that these things are really real, then you can safely explore your experiences and expand upon your capabilities. It's the uncertainty that gets us, that makes us afraid of what's in our own minds. Once we learn to trust, then we know it's been a part of us all along.